‘That Dowdy’ by Mrs. George Sheldon, copyright 1886-1887

Excerpt from That Dowdy:

“..Father, this is too bad of you. Gertrude is not fit to be married yet. She is hardly more than a child, a very unattractive one at that -an overgrown lump of humanity, painfully awkward in every movement, covered with freckles, and a crazy shock of red hair.”

[...]

“Who is that handsome young fellow with that dowdy-looking girl?”

* * * * * * *

Why, it’s Prince Charrrles!
[..in disguise, no less.  Looking a tad dowdy, wouldn't you say?]

[That's really Craig Ferguson, The Late Late Show comedian; absolutely funny, outrageous, sexy hunk of them all!  He's my #2 Humor Hero.  #1 will always be Jim Carrey.  solly. heh heh]

The Handsome Humorous Hunk

I’m that dowdy girl next door

Yes, I’m thatdowdygirl who gets sand kicked in her face at the beach. Yes, I have long, brown straight hair, moustache, beady eyes. And bangs. I wear glasses and I’m brainy. No, I didn’t go to my Senior prom. Who’ll take the girl with the skinny legs? This dowdy girl is mental, like in cerebral, not nucking futz or interested in fashion, hats, nail polish, or the newest kitchen gadget. I live on the sidelines.  I didn’t learn early on the fine art of flirting, wearing 4-inch high heels, or drawing on red blubbery lips. No, thisdowdygirl takes after Sybil Shepard -wears flats – not the gorgeous looks. I pick at my food, spend more time on the bathroom throne fighting off the effects of nerves. I ruminate a lot, too. What the hell is wrong with me?!?! I’m not that freakin’ ugly. Just plain vanilla. You know, when it comes to ice cream, plain vanilla is more appealing than, let’s say, some dum old banana split with strawberry, chocolate, peppermint, and salmon ice scream, artificial cherries (avec branch on one end), glob of whipped cream out of the can, smothered in, well, nuts. Thank you very much.  Plus, vanilla goes with everything [grrr].