Grr.. hair-tearing, chest-beating Peeve-of-the-Day!

This may not be obvious to most people, so I don’t expect anyone to empathize, commiserate, or pay any attention to this. You people can leave now. Get! There’s an interesting phenomenon I’ve discovered recently that’s driving me stark mad!  Let me set the scene, first.  My office is in the loft right over the living room; I keep the TV on in the background so I can listen to C-SPAN’s congressional hearings and political programs, and coverage of high-profile meddlers-of-society.  I’ve been running a little experiment prompted by this phenomenon that effects me like a song I can’t get out of mind. I listen to voices on C-SPAN, and I notice those who speak with helium-high, whiny voice peppered with high-low, high-low in waves, top of the scale ringing-crystal-glass high note, childish, little girl/little boy voice inflections punctuated by helium-high gigglely laughs, are for the most part, D-e-m/L-i-b-e-r-a-l-s!  What is it with liberals who sound like children at a coed pajama party, jumping up and down on the bed, stopping only to take another hit of helium before returning to bed-jumping and rib-tickling tittertottle inane mind-shattering drivel?  What’s worse is listening to a guy with a woman’s voice.  *putting head in plastic bag*

So, I listen to affectation-prone, childish voices trying to guess the age of the speaker.  More often than not, I think ah well this one is in her early 20’s, quickly rubber-neck down to the TV to see that the speaker is an over-40 raisin. -oo-  *scream*  In fact, women seem to know exactly where my psychotic-break-button is and puts her pedal-to-the-metal, finger-nails down chalkboard, tail-pulling cat screeching, fickle-finger-of-fate, foghorn, owl-screeching, shrill, oral instrument on my eardrum and doesn’t let up ‘til I shove an ice-pick into my ear to kill my sound-box!!!  In other words, tiny, thin, giggily, high-pitched, whiny, childish voices coming from men & women drives me nucking futz!!!

I just know you’ll notice this phenomenon of *kids-in-grown-up-clothes* before too long, which seem to afflict (but perhaps not limited to) Dems & Liberals.

</rant>

This has been a special announcement. We will now return to our regularly scheduled program, “Helium-High Hyenas on the Hill.”