Now that HallowThankMas is out of the way

Build a ramp across HallowThankMas, Oct. 30th to Jan. 12th, and let’s get on with the sacrilegious orgy of scrambling for last minute gifts, stuffing our mouths, and collapsing on the 12th Day of Christmas. I’m all for it. HallowThankMas curmudgeon of all time I am. Here’s a good plan. Let’s not exchange gifts this year; we will save ourselves all that money. Now the Christmas Fund can be spent on me me moi – completing the whole Season without Reason avec sugary-aplomb – as visions of stick-mice carry out Mexican Hat Dance on what’s left of the soul – dance on in our head! (/sarcasm) In other words,

Humbug!

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I’m that dowdy girl next door

Yes, I’m thatdowdygirl who gets sand kicked in her face at the beach. Yes, I have long, brown straight hair, moustache, beady eyes. And bangs. I wear glasses and I’m brainy. No, I didn’t go to my Senior prom. Who’ll take the girl with the skinny legs? This dowdy girl is mental, like in cerebral, not nucking futz or interested in fashion, hats, nail polish, or the newest kitchen gadget. I live on the sidelines.  I didn’t learn early on the fine art of flirting, wearing 4-inch high heels, or drawing on red blubbery lips. No, thisdowdygirl takes after Sybil Shepard -wears flats – not the gorgeous looks. I pick at my food, spend more time on the bathroom throne fighting off the effects of nerves. I ruminate a lot, too. What the hell is wrong with me?!?! I’m not that freakin’ ugly. Just plain vanilla. You know, when it comes to ice cream, plain vanilla is more appealing than, let’s say, some dum old banana split with strawberry, chocolate, peppermint, and salmon ice scream, artificial cherries (avec branch on one end), glob of whipped cream out of the can, smothered in, well, nuts. Thank you very much.  Plus, vanilla goes with everything [grrr].